A headstone is all that is left....

“They that love beyond the world cannot be separated by it. Death is but crossing the world, as friends do the seas; they live in one another still.” ~ William Penn

I woke up this morning to pictures of your headstone. Waenemi  had posted them on your facebook memorial page. Your family have fitted a beautiful marble headstone and it hurt so much to see it. Those pictures broke my heart all over again Tari, a stone cannot be all that is left of you dearest. No, your voice, your laughter, your amazing friendship still lives with all of us who loved you.

I miss you so much still.......

Recent weeks.....

“Although the world is full of suffering, it is full also of the overcoming of it. My optimism, then, does not rest on the absence of evil, but on a glad belief in the preponderance of good and a willing effort always to cooperate with the good, that it may prevail.” ~ Helen Keller


There is always something happening in our world, events that makes us cry, laugh or even leaves us completely indifferent. I guess God made us thus; imagine if we constantly could absorb all the sorrows, the wars, the sadness. I think our hearts would simply burst from the pain. Or even if we could take on all the joys too, there has to be something otherworldly about being constantly happy. As they say, if one has never known sorrow, how can one appreciate joy?

In the last weeks, three stories struck me in the news, the near death experience of Fabrice Muamba, the tragedy of Trayvon Martin and ignominy of the actions of Robert Bales, a much decorated soldier turned villain.

There is a lot that is dark and frightening about the massacre of the Afghan 16 on March 11 by an American soldier who was supposed to be one of their liberators from the oppression and terror of the Taliban. The mental fitness of Robert Bales have been questioned by all and may likely play a major role in his defence, but what frightens me more is the sentiments expressed by some Americans on blogs and internet forums. There is much sympathy for the perpetuator but hardly any care for the victims. I know of course, that the opinion of some online respondents does not speak for an entire country but it worries me none the less. Nobody deserves to be murdered in their bed.

Another aspect of this is the media coverage; we know everything there is to know about Bales but next to nothing of his victims, not their names, their ages, their sexes or their dreams.

Trayvon Martin’s murder and the fact that is murderer is still walking free takes me back to pre civil rights America I have only read about before now. George Zimmerman, hunted Trayvon as you would an animal, he stalked him and shot him down like a dog, this 17 year old man child whose only crime was being black and being on the streets after dark.

Image courtesy of cleveland.com

I think that there is something very jungle like about Florida’s gun laws and the stand your ground legislation; the idea that I could commit murder and my ticket out of being arrested would be that I felt threatened, after all, who would contradict me? Dead men as we well know cannot defend themselves. The law might have been passed in good faith to protect victims but it has become obvious to all that it has only further empowered perpetuators and those who would take the law into their own hands. I hope something good comes out of all these, I hope that the laws are reviewed because that would be the ultimate justice for Trayvon.

The story of Fabrice Muamba countered the weeks of bad news. Here was reason to believe in our collective humanity. I don’t watch much football; however I couldn’t help but take notice when all the social media seemed awashed with ‘Pray for Muamba’ updates. I had to pay attention and the story I found greatly moved me. A young man struck in his prime by a terrible illness and the fight by all concerned to see him well. The prayers, the love, the good wishes, I can’t help but fancy that all of that set him on the path to recovery.

TILL WE MEET...........

“Will it come like a change in the weather? Will its greeting be courteous or rough? Will it alter my life altogether? O tell me the truth about love.” ~ W. H. Auden

Image courtesy of landogsaga.is

Life is like a passing ship
That stops in places
With new people
Tis so sad my ship is pulling anchor
So soon after I met you

I think of things
We could have done together
Places we could have seen
Through each other’s eyes
And i am sad

Perhaps at another port
In another sea
We’ll drop anchor
And catch up on old times

But I miss you
And wonder whether
Those times will ever come
Will I see you again?

THE TRUST BANK

I'm not upset that you lied to me, I'm upset that from now on I can't believe you."  ~   Friedrich Nietzsche

Image courtesy of sana.fi

If you take a sample of people and ask them what quality they most value in a relationship, at least 50% are likely to say trust. However trust goes beyond believing I would not cheat on you when you are away or that you won’t cheat when I am absent. Trust is faith, hope, reliance, dependence, confidence, conviction, expectation, belief and a lot more.

Trust involves knowing that I believe in you, your dreams, aspirations, hopes and that I will be there for you whether you succeed or fail, stand or fall.
Trust is supporting you whether I understand your vision or not, it is that ability to say ‘do you want wings or a ticket?’ when you say you want to fly.

Trust is knowing I have got your back when you go facing your fears. It is relying on me to fan the flames of your fire when you need to catch some sleep.

Trust is confidence to tell me about all your business deals because you know I won’t sell you out. Trust is my absolute surety that you will succeed and make me proud. It is expecting nothing but your best from you.

Trust though is a bank. You must deposit to withdraw. This is the reason it is said that trust is earned. You cannot continue to overdraw you account and expect me not to close it or expect not to suffer some penalties for the breach of contract.

VETERAN ACTORS/ACTRESSES: WHERE ARE THEY NOW

“The only thing that endures is character. Fame and wealth – all that is illusion.” ~ OJ Simpson
These actors and actresses were some of the pioneers of Nollywood but seem to have vanished from the silver screen. However, this research shows that they are still very relevant, from nursing to the clergy, these men and women are taking giant strides. Here is what they are up to these days.

PETE EDOCHIE

Pete Edochie is considered one of Africa’s foremost actors. We have all at one time or the other been thrilled by the presence and charisma he brings into his roles. Edochie came into acting limelight in the 80’s from an already successful career as a broadcaster and administrator.  The actor has gifted Nollywood with his two sons Yul and Linc who are also terrific actors. Pete Edochie was kidnapped in 2009 but was released shortly after and has since then kept a low profile although he still acts intermittently.

LIZ BENSON

Liz Benson is regarded by most as one of the golden ladies of Nollywood. This actress who lost her husband before she was thirty had the strength of character to raise her children and combined it with a very active acting profile in her heyday. In 1996, Liz Benson became a born again Christian and is currently an evangelist.

KANAYO O KANAYO

Anayo Modestus Onyekwere aka Kanayo O kanayo can be safely referred to as Nollywood’s premier actor. He made his debut appearance in ‘living in bondage’ which is acknowledged as Nigeria’s first blockbuster movie and the pioneer of the home video industry. In 2006, KOK won the prestigious AMAA for best actor in a leading role. Kanayo O Kanayo has recently forayed into politics; he declared his intention to run for the house of representative elections in 2011 although he did not scale through.

REGINA ASKIA-WILLIAMS

This pretty former beauty queen and model started her acting career in the soap  ‘fortunes’ in 1993 and went on to act in several Nollywood movies winning various awards including the ‘Best Actress in Nigeria’ in 2000. Regina Askia epitomises that cliché, beauty and brains, she graduated with a biology degree from Unilag and is currently a practising nurse in America.

EUCHARIA ANUNOBI

Eucharia Anunobi is probably the only Nigerian actress that is invariably described as sultry. This nollywood bad girl has come a long way from her famed rascality to the ordained pastor she is today. Although she vowed to continue acting, she has not been seen in any movies recently.

RICHARD MOFE DAMIJO

What is there not to love about our RMD? This screen god ruled the movie industry as leading man to go to long before the likes of Ramsey Nouah and Jim Iyke became popular. These days however, RMD is ruling in the corridors of political power. He is commissioner for culture and tourism in Delta state.

ST.  OBI

This tall dreamboat graced our screens for many a movie until the shallowness of most nollywood scripts caused him to go behind the camera. Now, St. Obi plays actor, director and producer in his own movies.

BASORGE TARIAH JUNIOR

This actor has been compared to America’s Martin Lawrence for his ability to combine acting with comedy. Basorge is also well regarded for his elocution and impeccable eloquence. These days, he puts that to practice as public speaker and MC.

SEGUN ARINZE

Segun Arinze is perhaps best known for portraying villainous characters, roles which he perfects with great fanfare with his huge eyeballs. Last year Segun Arinze was embroiled in a court case with fellow actor Emeka Ike for the leadership of the Actors guild of Nigeria.

REBIRTH IN EDO

“A statesman is a politician who places himself at the service of the nation. A politician is a statesman who places the nation at his service.” ~ Georges Pompidou

Last week, one of the discussions I followed on Twitter was the #theworsegovernorinnigeria raised by @ekekeee and it was both informative and disheartening to say the least. The issues examined by contributing tweeps were not new, kleptomaniac rulers bankrupt of quality ideas and a longsuffering people with hardly any hope for political redemption. I was impressed though that with the dearth of inspiring leadership in Nigeria, there are some governors who have dared to be different, who for them it is not business as usual. The likes of Rochas Okorocha, Tunde Fashola and my own state Governor, Adams Oshiomhole. Now these men are not perfect, I’m sure some persons may be able to fill up pages with their errors. However, we cannot afford to lose sight of the progress they have made.

Someone said recently that there have only been three performing government in Edo State, the government of Ogbemudia which gave us such legacies as the Ogbe Stadium, the Benin museum and the University of Benin.  The government of the late Ambrose Alli; which gave people like my mother, the chance to get an education. Governor Alli supplied free textbooks, gave Edo a state University, several colleges of education, as well as polytechnics. And finally, we have comrade Adams Oshiomhole.

Adams Aliyu Oshiomhole went to court to fight for his mandate and since he assumed office, he has tackled his job with vigour. Most Edo roads that were virtually impassable are now transformed or undergoing transformation, from roads in Benin City to roads in the interior, the story is the same. One of the biggest problems for road maintenance in Edo state is the annual flooding which has led to severe erosion. Oshiomhole and his team have mapped out a flood control plan that involves linking the historical moat of Benin to the Ikpoba River. So far, work is going on in earnest and the prayer of everyone in Benin City is that this solution works.

Another aspect that the Oshiomhole Government has tackled is the fixing of dilapidated school buildings all over the state. I have always believed that an enabling environment for learning includes the facility where this knowledge is being impacted. How can children learn when they are exposed to the elements in school? Or when the child has to hide behind a bush and step on other people’s mess to answer nature’s call? These days, I am heartened when I come across these shining new school buildings everywhere in town. However, a fancy school building is not enough; these schools need books in a functioning library, quality teachers, more discipline, a crackdown on examination malpractices etc.

Beyond all of these is that Oshiomhole has given the people of Edo the ability to dream again, hope for the landlord who is now a tenant because erosion has taken over his property. Hope for the child who can now learn under a roof, sitting on a proper chair, writing on a proper desk. Hope for the everyday men and women who have access to the cheap mass transit buses aptly tagged comrade buses provided long before the term ‘palliatives’ became a buzzword in our polity.