I thought MAY was just a month....

Our maid had a fight with her neighbour and the police got involved in the francas. I spent most of yesterday and early today trying to post bail for her and her brother. To say the least it was hectic but informative. The Nigerian police force seem only to listen to the first complainant and do not bother with any investigation even with evidence staring right in their face.

What got me amused though was when we got to negotiating bail. The lady IPO insisted on N8000 and we wanted to pay N4000. So we called another police officer to plead with her. She agreed to take less and told the other officer..'tell them to make it may' We all look at each other in confusion until we figured it out...may is the fifth month...so she means she would take 5k....hilarious..make it may! police code....hehehehe

E Don Tay!

I cannot believe it is almost three months since I last updated my blog! Being home again and waiting for something to happen by the way of a job has understandably distracted me.
A lot have happened though in the last weeks most worrying is the spates of bombings in the country. Boko Haram must cease and desist... Lord have mercy!
On a lighter note...the tragedy of the Baba Suwe 'shit' scandal has kept the country enthralled and created fodder for comedy. Yahoonews probably took the best caption award when the styled the saga like this
"Nigerian actor freed after 25 bowel movements" Hilarious this might have been but it does brings out the underlying weakness in our justice system where a person can be detained for over 25 days with no justifiable proof of a crime.
God have mercy!

Various sayings

Many people are not born successful, they become successful. Many people are not born failures, they become failures.

How do people become successful and how do they become failures? The answer is through their habits.

"The secret of successful people is in their daily habits." Dr Mike Murdock

"The hand of the diligent will rule,
But the lazy man will be put to forced labour." Proverbs 12:24

What successful people do daily, failures do occasionally or never do at all.

Likewise what failures do daily the successful do occasionally or never do at all.

If I can see your habits, I can accurately predict your future. You gradually become what you do on a daily basis.

"Habits are first cobwebs, then they become cables." Spanish Proverb

My prayer is that you will cultivate successful habits and be delivered from every habit of failure.

Life is lived from inside out. What happens within determines what happens outside.

When an egg breaks from an outside force, a life ends. When an egg breaks from within, a life begins. Great things always begin from within.


It's not the things happening outside that affect most people; rather it's the things that happen within us.

"Above all else, guard your mind for it is the wellspring of life." Proverbs 4:23

The premium shouldn't be on guarding your material possessions. The premium should be on guarding your mind because that is where life ie change starts from.

When people change, it first of all starts from within ie the mind. When you change the way you think, things will change for you.

If you are already defeated within, it will show outside. If you are successful within, it will show outside.

I believe you are long overdue for a change of story.

Make that change happen now. Change the way you think and every other thing will change for you.


​No one will ever be criticised for making mistakes. Mistakes are part and parcel of life.

When you make a mistake and you learn from it, then you are on your way to success.

Mistakes for as long as they are learnt from, are steps on the staircase to success.

Every mistake is a stepping stone to the next level provided you learn from it.

Mistakes can also be the light that illuminate the darkness around you especially when you are treading new grounds.

In as much as mistakes have a positive side, you shouldn't turn making mistakes into a habit.

"Can a man scoop fire into his lap
without his clothes being burned?
Can a man walk on hot coals
without his feet being scorched?" Proverbs 6:27:28

"When you repeat the same mistake continuously; it is no longer a mistake, it is a choice." David Oyedepo

A choice is the right, power, or opportunity to choose; ie option. It is something that is preferred or preferable to others.

I see you making the right choices and every genuine mistake turns around in your favour from this day forward.

He's alive.

Embracing change: is there a better way?

President Andrew Jackson



Andrew Van Buren

In 1829, Martin Van Buren, Governor of New York, wrote to President Andrew Jackson cautioning him about the future: 'President Jackson, the canal system of this country is being threatened by the spread of railroads. We must preserve the canals for the following reasons: 1) If canal boats are supplanted by railroads, serious unemployment will result. Captains, cooks, repairmen and lock tenders will be left without jobs, not to mention farmers now employed in growing hay for horses 2) Boat builders would suffer, whip and harness makers would be left destitute 3) Canal boats are absolutely essential to the defence of the United States. In the event of the expected trouble with England, the Erie Canal would be the only means by which we could ever move the supplies so vital to waging modern war. As you may well know, Mr. President, railroad carriages are pulled at the enormous speed of 15 mph by engines, which, in addition to endangering life and limb, snort their way through the countryside belching out smoke, setting fire to crops, scaring the livestock and frightening women and children. Surely the Almighty never intended people should travel at such breakneck speed.'

 Poor Martin - what would he think if he knew we were flying 33,000 feet high, at 500 mph sipping coffee and typing on a notebook computer?

Mama Africa

Mama Africa
Look down and see the fates
Of your beautiful virgin daughters
See what has become of chastity
Thrown to the four winds

Mama Africa

The Whiteman brought us civilization
But civilization has its price
Morality is confined to history books
Practiced only by prudes

Oh Mama Africa

Weep for your daughters
Who have become breadwinners
For their fathers
And sell themselves for dollars

Mama Africa

Our hands are stained with blood
Your land is filled with blood
The blood of your daughters
But they erect mansions

Mama oh Mama

Will Africa ever be clean again?
Free from this hunger
This corruption
That makes your daughters forget their shame.

FOR TARI

You stole away at midnight
When non watched
We are bereft who loved you
Only memories comfort us now

Memories of you are a gold yarn
Linking together all who loved you
Our memories weave a living tapestry
Of how you were amongst us

So we know you will never be forgotten
Because we carry you with us
In our laughter and in our tears
We see you reflected back to us

That face that was so welcoming
Those hands so ready to soothe
The hug that always made better
That heart that never tired of helping

We will miss you sweetheart
And indeed we do already
But your voice will live on in our thoughts
And your laughter will echo forever in our hearts.

For Ebitari Tekenah

I have tried to write something for you my friend. I think is perhaps more for me than you.

I know how much you would appreciate the love i have tried to convey if only again you could read it. I remember how you exclaimed over my blog, how proud you were of me. How you called chidi to say eseosa now has a blog, you must read it.

Hey Tari, how did this happen? How did you leave us your friends so early and with no warning whatsoever? You who held our circle of friendship together.  You who always had news of everyone and who so willingly shared all our joys and hurdles. How could you go so soon?

Tari, i sit in my living room, it is gone past midnight and i keep replaying all the tokens of our friendship. Our shared laughter, our long conversations, me and you dancing, us walking down the streets singing songs from long ago. Though now in retrospect i feel i did not share enough of me with you. If only i could turn the hand of time.

I see on facebook condolences are already mounting on your wall. I cannot bring myself to write on there, no, that would make it too real. I still feel it is a bad nightmare and i might yet wake up.

Ebitari, you had so much heart and I am going to miss you very much.

Adieu.

Another Royal Wedding

Williams, Prince of Wales married his Catherine today, almost thirty years after his parents embarked on what proved to be a disastrous union. I have heard a lot of comments from people afraid of history repeating itself. They talk of the fairytale wedding, the media hype, the glare of public scrutiny, all factors that helped in destroying what was themed the wedding of the century in 1981.

However, they forget some things that are essentially different about these two couples. First their ages, Charles was thirteen years older than Diana, by the time he married her, he had seen and done almost everything while she was a mere nineteen, naive and romantic. Their relationship had been likened to the romantic novels her step grand mother Barbara Cartland wrote, virginal girl, mysterious and handsome older man except for them, there was no happy ending. William and Kate on the other hand are agemates, they are from the same generation, they have common interests, they went to school together, infact, i would daresay they speak the same language.

Also, Princess Diana famously said they were three people in her marriage, with William and Kate, it has almost always been the two of them. They have known each other for a decade and have been a couple for almost nine out of the ten years. I would not be wrong when I say these two grew up together. These newlyweds paint a perfect picture and I do not see the ghosts of past lovers haunting this marriage.

Media hype and public scrutiny are issues Kate has had a long time to adjust to, she knows what is expected of her and has done admirably well so far. And also she can depend on the support of William who has shielded her through their difficult moments. This wedding might had looked like a fairytale but  the two people intimately involved looked totally comfortable together as was evident from their frequent whispers of reassurance to each other during the ceremony.

Finally, British royalty is definitely more relaxed now than it was in 1981, protocols are not so strict as seen today from the various breaks in tradition. The one that amused me most was the Dukes and Duchesses in coaches!  And the romantic in me was moved by William driving Kate back to Clarence house in his father's  open top Aston Martin. The family as Prince William calls it has embraced modernity and has become more fun.

Here is to wishing Kate and Wills a blissful life.

Try your Luck

I got infected with the lottery buying bug recently. I woke up one morning with the thought that the fastest and easiest way to get the kind of money I desire was to hit the Euromillion jackpot. No doubt, I was influenced by the number of lottery winners popping champagne featured in the local papers recently.

The first thing I did was to select my lucky numbers, then I registered online on the national lottery website. Knowing what lottery to play was a nightmare, I was spoilt for choice, Lotto, Euromillions, Thunderball, Gold riches and even retro riches. I at last settled for the Euromillion. Then I started to count the days till friday when the winning numbers are selected. Friday night finally dawned and I excitedly checked my account, alas, no win. £6 down the drain! But then, I have always said I wanted to try everything at least once in my life so why not?

If only I had stopped then, but you know how it came be with addictions. I fixated on the idea of the scratchcard. Hassle free lottery. You walk into a shop, hand in your money and you get a card. So I stopped of at a store on my way to work one day to purchase a ticket. Unfortunately, my first foray into the world of scratch cards was unproductive.

After spending £12 in all buying lottery tickets, i only won once and it was a meagre £2. However, I might try it again, who knows? I may just be the one in the papers popping champagne with a cheshire grin on my face.

A short story

Anytime Sade looked at her arms, she saw the legacy her father bequeathed her, scars. Other fathers left their children sweet memories of advice, laughter, fun and courage. All Sade had were her tears and anguish both physical and emotional.

Every once in a while, she woke up from a nightmare, tears streaming down her face. She had just had one of those. In her dream, she was 10 years old again, her father was screaming for her
Folasade!
Come out right now because when I find you, it would be the worse for you!

Sade shivered where she was cowering behind the sofa tears running down her face. A shadow fell over her and she raised her fear striken face as the whip began its descent. She opened her month to scream and woke up still screaming.

All things Nigerian

I have lived abroad going on four years now. Being away from home has heightened my appreciation of all things Nigerian. Before coming here, I could not wait to leave. I was tired of the heat, the stress, the bad roads, nosy neighbours, the joblessness of our youth, our broken down schools and most grating, our greedy leaders.

However, as much as these problems are still glaring today as they were 4 years ago, I miss the exuberance of Nigeria. To me Nigeria is like a youth, full of life, brash, know it all who has made and is still making several mistakes, refusing to listen to elders, preferring to learn from experience rather than example. One can can only hope that sooner than later, she will grow up and not regret in old age her misspent youth.

Anyway, I digress. I miss the in-your-face neighbour who knows what you had for dinner, knocks on your door anytime of the day or night just to chat or borrow the proverbial sugar. I miss the heat, but that is only during the winter and I am wearing three layers of clothing yet cannot keep warm.

The joblessness of our youth is an issue that breaks my heart. I know of people who left school ages ago and are still plodding through the streets of Nigeria trying to find employment, any employment at all that would allow them put food on the table, cloth on their backs and a roof over their heads. Over here in the west, there are even more of our youths, myself included who would like nothing better than to return home and to contribute their quota to nation building. However, the difficulty in securing jobs, the need to grease more than a few elbows to make any headway scares them.

I cannot say I miss the bad roads, I was in my hometown of Benin recently and the state governor needs  to be commended on the work he is doing on our roads. Our schools and our leaders?  well that is a topic for another day.

All in all, I miss home and when I get that feeling, I pick up my phone and call friends and through them vicariously reclaim everyday living in Nigeria. At other times, I go on youtube, watch a Nollywood movie or listen to some local artiste. This always leaves me nostalgic and never fail to relieve the pangs of homesickness.

Buggy or Piggyback?

I saw a funny sight today in town. A Nigerian woman all dressed up for the winter, I mean coat, boots and scarf and the weird thing?  she had her baby tied to her back with a colorful african wrapper. I could hear her husband complaining about the fact that he bought a buggy which she wanted at the time but is now sitting somewhere in the house gathering dust. The lady's response ? "the buggy is heavy"!

i think her husband was quite embarrased by the sight they made in the busy town centre. What do you think people?  would you as an African woman carry your baby on your back in public? and would you as an african man be seen in public with your wife carrying your child on her back?

The female James Brown

I am really grateful for the Grammys or else how would I have discovered Janelle Monae? She is amazing, check out those moves.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pwnefUaKCbc
And also thanks to the Brits for Laura Marling, I thought she was really colorless from her demeanor when she accepted her award...but her music set me right.

OVER 26 NEED NOT APPLY.

There is something I have noticed with job advertisements in Nigeria that absolutely winds me up. It is the blatant age discrimination displayed by both National and Multinational firms.

In adverts placed on dailies and on these companies websites, you are likely to find "over 26 years need not apply". This is ironic in a country like Nigeria where the average student leaves secondary school aged 17, writes the university matriculation exams once or twice and if he is fortunate gets into university at 19. Now if he puts in for a four year course, he should graduate at 23 discounting any academic palaver.

Considering that on average, the Nigerian undergraduate loses one year to strikes and shutdowns due to cult violences. This mean our model student would graduate at 24 and then has to reckon with NYSC. There is a lot to be said for our NYSC, it is a national icon of which I am very proud. I benefited from it immersely by way of friends, travel, experience and community. However, the fact that the graduate is not guaranteed a place in the service corps as soon as he leaves school and has to wait for sometimes up to year to serve is ridiculous and time-wasting.

Now our model student is 25 years old and is just starting a year long service. Through no fault of his own, he does not arrive at the job market until he is 26. Imagine his frustration when NNPC, CHEVRON, Intercontinental Bank, First Bank, Zenith, TOTAL et al. tells him not to bother submitting his CV because he is over 26! And we wonder at the increase in armed robberies, kidnappings, internet scams, cult violence and the general malaise plaguing our youth. This article in no way justifies these behaviours but as a people, we need to identify the roots of our problem.

The aspect the bugs me the most is these multinationals would not dare place such adverts in the west with age as a criteria. They would be immediately slammed with a lawsuit.

I think it is about time we have legislation protecting this aspect of our worklife and maybe a lawsuit or two would not be a bad place to start.

Saying no to dream killers

I have come to realise that to succeed in life, we need to die first. Now most times, this death is not the physical dying as we know it, it is burying everything that holds us back, things that drag us down, voices that tell us we cannot.
I have been following closely the jasmine revolution and the self-immolation of Mohammed Bouazizi which sparked it. At the point where Bouazizi felt he could not go on anymore, he inspired a broad spectrum of reawakening through the Arab world. In dying, he now lives forever in human history. Now, we may not need to die like Bouazizi to see change happen but we all get to that bend or break situations that shape our lives forever.
One of my favourite persons in history is Rosa Parks. Imagine American history where Rosa Parks did not hold on to that seat. Yea, maybe we still would have had a civil rights movement but definitely not in that time or manner.
I have decided to take my life in my hands, to stop regretting that which i cannot change, to leave behind those things/people that weigh me down. To laugh, to love, to let my soul shine through, to speak out for right, to be thankful.